Past and Present: Generation Commentary

Being that it is now 2008, and everything basically sucks except for the technology, I thought I would do a little editorial on the differences between certain generations.

Although the economy is in shambles and masses of inept cretins have a hand in controlling everything, the kids today have it a lot easier.

When I traveled the path of childhood during the 1990s, 16-bit video games, nerf footballs, and my 33 megahertz computer with no sound were the best advances that human ingenuity had to offer at that point.

Even though the quality of music and entertainment were far better years back, now the kids have the X-Box 360s, cell phones with text messaging before they even know how to spell their names, and other inventive ways to tally up a myriad of fat cells and have heart problems by the ripe old age of 18.

However, despite all these wonderous developments, coming of age in today's era is not as good as advertised. The main reason....too many damn rules and regulations. The second reason, is the lack of satisfaction we have in ourselves as a culture. Speaking as a modern 22-year old who posesses 83.86% of humanity's total knowledge and wisdom(fake statistic), I'll break it down for everybody.

For starters, all the fun shit is prohibited. You can't do this; you can't do that. If you do this you get cancer. If you do this three times before you do that once, you will be apprehended by local authorities or you'll be executed, etc. You get the idea.

When my father was growing up listening to Zeppelin and pounding 6-packs of Pabst Blue Ribbon with his 'closest roaddogs' (as Tupac would say), things seemed a lot easier. Even driving drunk then was considered appropriate (See George W. Bush's list of favorite hobbies), as long as you didnt hit any object or person at full speed with the vehicle.


I don't really think the penalties fit the crime these days. Why is it in some cases that a sex offender would get a lesser sentence than a drug dealer? Last I checked, unconsentual sodomy with minors is a little bit worse than providing somebody with a few hours of boredom relief on a Friday night. Not to mention, like some shitty comedian said a few years back, many of your favorite musical pieces were both conceived and composed under a heavy dose of 'not sober'. Outside of a couple of Korn songs and Michael Jackson's post-recording career; I'm pretty sure that rapists did not have a heavy influence in the music industry.


With all the restrictions on individuality and fun in this country, it's a borderline goddamn police state. Lets try to be a bit less totalitarian about the whole thing, eh?